Confession

I have been blog stalling for MONTHS now. I have had an awesome announcement to shout to the world!!...but The Brenton put a hush order over the news until further notice... and I got that further notice today...so here we go!!!

We are getting new neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




What? I know...how can that be good news....well our new neighbors are
Going........To..........Be..........

The OBAMAS!!

The Brenton, myself, brand new baby and Chloe are going to be

EAST-COASTERS!!!


Come this July you will find me not here


BUT Here
We are trading these guys



For This Guy



No more of this landscape



But This





See Ya Later

and
(P.S. We didn't attend either of these schools)


But We are now Proud to Be.....TERPS


TERP-short for Terripin, it's a turtle..a very ferocious and mean fighting salt water turtle that is found in the streams and rivers of Maryland...


I just told The Brenton he will be a Ninja Turtle...it's better that way!


Stay tuned to the blog, there are a lot of awesome things a comin'!!

Warning...I am bragging here

Okay so they say pregnancy gives you lame-brain right???

Well apparently lame brain works for me......

Boo-Ya!!!
But I wonder if the teachers just gave me pity points for waddling my butt to class each week....either way, I will take it!

I also want to state that the Meteorology class was online, which means that I did the assignments on the very last day they were due every time! :) Procrastination is my game!

Ingredients

This woman contains:

1- Baby girl

1-Lortab

1-Medium Size Red Mango Frozen Yogurt with mango slices YUM!!!

Thus explains the huge smile on my face!

36 Weeks! 

Story Time

It was a dark stormy night...

I awoke with cramps, weird huh? It took me a while to really realize what was going on. I got out of bed and started walking around the room, because it was a new pain to me. I soon realize, hey these could be contractions! That is contractions with a sharp constant pain in my lower left back.

I thought, "wait a min, contraction pain is supposed to go away" soooo we are talking KIDNEY STONES!!

Yup, a wonderful 5 hr stay at the hospital and many many many shots of morphine (3 to be exact) and we were feeling better. The scary part was the pain sent me into contractions that were 3 min apart..but the baby and I had a little talk, and we figured that now would not be an ideal time for her entrance....so she is still with me, and loving the drugs just about as much as I am!!!

So we are on day two of Kidney stones..AWESOME

Best Apt EVER!

The Brenton and I have lived in two apts while in our married lives...the first one was "ok" The second one "FANTASTIC"

and it started great and ended great...why you ask??

Well during the last 10 months we have had a giant rat living with us

Here is said Rat:

Her Name is Chloe, but she also goes by Chlovie, Chlo Chlo, Rat, Ru and Rufis, I have even dropped a couple Rufio's

Now this 3 yr old terror has been the best training for parenthood that I could think of...she is demanding, whiny, stubborn, mischievous, she is a garbage eater, and I have to ask her 3 times before she will do anything

One of her many talents was sticking her fat face through our metal blinds to watch us as we would walk away to our car. It was always fun to hear our blinds rattle against the window, and then turn around to see half of a lab up in them.. Which resulted in our blinds looking like



For a while we were able to repair them, bend them back and all was well, but she didn't like that too much, so she bit them, and then bit the string that pulls them up so they had to be replaced

Well funny thing is, both of these windows are not a normal measurement so you can't just go to the local hardware shop and pick up new blinds.

So The Brenton and I had come to terms with this and just figured they would take it out of our deposit. So Brenton has a walk through yesterday morning, but the guy showed up about an hour late. Apparently he was in a good mood that morning, and said the only thing he could see that was an issue..the blinds..(apparently he didn't look at the carpet or the walls because those were nasty!)

He starts to write down the order form for the blinds and says

"Well I was an hour late, don't worry about the blinds"

Hooray, we get our Deposit Back!!

The Time Has Come

Dear New Neighbors above us:

Tweet Tweet

Bark Bark

Yap

Tweet

Bark
Yap Yap Yap

Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet

Please be aware that we have told Chloe that she has all the rights and privileges to eat any and all of your animals!
(2 DOGS! and a million birds!)

Sincerely, The Livingston Household

We are moving tomorrow so that is the only reason I haven't egged their apt!

it's finAlly over!

Classes taking this term: 4 Classes completed to date: 2
HAllelujAh,



TodAy wAs the lAst dAy of my/our computer clAss...The Brenton And I Are thrilled to be done with this clAss.



I struggled A bit with the lAst test, but I pulled through becAuse I hAd An Awesome teAcher And he "helped" me with A problem I hAd, (helped meAning gAve me A "hint")....(hint meAning he told me the Answer!)


AnywAy, turns out that my overAll grAde wAs A slight bit higher thAn the Brenton's by 1%, don't bother Asking whAt I got because lAdies don't shAre their finAl grAde!



We also ended our world religions class today....not sure whAt I am Bound to get, CoulD be Anything....I will keep you posted as the countdown to this term ends!

B-day

25 years ago (and one day...sorry I am behind on things!)

2 stubborn Livingston boys decided that 35 weeks was enough "fetus" time and they decided to join the world!

The first of these two stubborn boys is the one that I am now in charge of for the rest of ALL time and then some!

4 lbs and some-odd oz (mama Jeana you will have to help me out on the oz part!) was my or The Brenton!

25 years later... still doing everything on his own time and still stubborn...case in point

The B-day Ribbon

This Birthday Ribbon was purchased by an AMAZING wife, for The Brenton to wear shouting out to the world that it's his B-day!

"I'm not wearing that" said The Brenton

"Please!" a pregnant wife pleaded!
"Ya, no thanks!"
"For just part of the day?"
"Ehhh"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! I WIN!

Well actually it was a compromise, we had 3 morning destinations to go to, he only had to wear it to one...he choose Breakfast where there were a total of 10 people in the whole place and no one cared about his ribbon!

Apparently he feels that this has started some sort of B-day tradition between us, who can embarrass the other one more and he says I can look forward to something on my B-day!

(Little does he know about the B-day cone hats that I plan on bringing when we go out to dinner tonight! BRING IT ON LIVINGSTON!)

Opposites Attract

But that doesn't mean that you have to get along.......


Exhibit A:
I am what you call a "scraper" when it comes to eating ice cream out of the carton (yes it's my house I can do what I want!) Look on the sides, I had neatly scraped my scoops to keep things even!!

Brenton is a "digger"....diggers ruin everything!! See that gigantic crater in my ice cream? Do you know how long it will take for me to make it even again??

It's a good thing our marriage is not based on how you eat ice cream, otherwise we would be in deep moose tracks...(get it??? It's an ice cream flavor, but it also can mean poop!!)

Exercise 30 min 3 x a week!

I heard this phrase at my first Doc's appointment

I was walking my dog twice a day for a half our each, so I felt I was getting that in just fine

And then winter ice roads/2nd trimester/just plain lazy kicked in

2 walks went to 1, and 30 min went to how ever long it would take for the doggie to poopy

Yesterday I was inspired to go walk the treadmill 30 WHOLE MINUTES!

AND NOW

I have scientific proof that exercise is not good for the body!! I would have been WAY better off laying down doing nothing.

Wake Up Call

PLUS

Get it???

Okay so being woken up by such a horrific pain is AWESOME...which leads to the 245th reason why I love my husband!

The Brenton: So you were whimpering this morning

Jazz: Ya, that is when I got my Charlie Horse

30 seconds after thinking about it

Jazz: Funny how you heard me whimpering and yet you didn't turn over to check on me.

The Brenton: I thought you were having a bad dream

Jazz: What am I a puppy?????


The Brenton...just smiles!

It's a learning Experience

First of all....this is Jazz typing....Nut Job has taken this week off and we are SOOOOoooo Glad....

Second I found that I like making lists...I am a list person, shopping list, lists for packing for trips, "things to do" lists...I just like 'em....

So today we shall make a list, a list of things I have learned in the last 30 weeks. Enjoy and contribute if you'd like...husbands are encouraged to participate!

1. Road Rage is never Ok, so when you feel that hitting someone would be a good alternative to driving behind them....that means you should have someone else drive ( I only drive when Brenton isn't in the car, he knows better than to sit shot gun with a crazy behind the wheel!)
   
   
2. Never go to the grocery store hungry and hormonal...you will only end up with cookies,ice cream and a bag of tortillas.
   
   
3. Elastic can be your friend one min and your enemy the next
   
   
4. If you don't have an obvious protruding stomach in the maternity store, you will get dirty judgmental looks
   
   
5. People look funny when they are 98% sure that you're pregnant, but are still too afraid to ask...you can see the internal battle of "Do I ask? But what if she isn't?"
   
   
6. If you have a full bladder, waddling is a natural occurrence, don't fight it...just go to the bathroom!
   
   
7. Cocoa Butter is a placebo...it's doesn't stop stretch marks, but magically you don't get upset when you do get them ( I don't want to talk about it!)
   
   
8. Will power is a success when you have fought the craving for more than 2 hrs.
   
   
9. Packing a snack for yourself is never the case, you must think of the Father-to-Be who will be with you, and plan on him eating your snacks too!
   
   
10. Sympathy from strangers lasts a whole lot longer than that of your spouse...You have about 6 months of awesome pampering and then 3 months of "whatever! Just stop crying"

She's Baaaaccckkkk!

Jazz: Oh Hello there Coo-Koo nice to see you again!!!

Nut Job: (evil glare)

Jazz: Oh I see you have been making yourself comfortable this week

Nut Job: Ya, it's been a pretty productive week

Jazz: Yes, I recall! How was that break down of yours? Good?

Nut Job: Ehh...I have done better, but it did the job...I got that "I am married to a crack pot!" look from The Brenton didn't I?

Jazz: Oh yes, yes you did...it took me a day or two to get that look to go away, thanks!

Nut Job: No problem

Jazz: So what's your deal this week? Why are you hanging around so long?

Nut Job: There is just sooo much material around lately, I'm thinking about hanging out for a while

Jazz: Really? hmmm...I don't think that is such a great idea

Nut Job: Ya, it kinda is....

Jazz: I have noticed you have set in for the most innocent of people, maybe you should just lay low for a bit

Nut Job: That's the dumbest idea I have ever heard...

Jazz: See that is what I am talking about, stop saying what you are thinking!!!

Nut Job: Ya, it's kind of funny to hear you try to talk me out of saying it, but of course I am going to...I'm defiant!

Jazz: Right, got that...well do you think you can be quiet for the weekend? I mean I would like to have a day this week where The Brenton isn't considering running away.

Nut Job: I don't make any promises!


Jazz: Jerk! Oopps...

Nut Job: Ha ha ha ha ha

A Little Diddy-with New Verses!

I realize that I haven't really given a good detailed update about the life situation of The Brenton and I...and so I figured that I should get on one...and to make it even more entertaining I will write it to that all time Jon Denver hit "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" (mind you may have to read it over a few times for it really to work right....)

Well Life in Sandy is kind of laid back, ain't nothin' a Cali girl like I can't hack, early to rise 10:30 in the sack, could some-one please rub my feet??

Well my office smells like it's in the middle of a farm, had a propane scare but it didn't cause no harm, can barely see my feet, I'm the size of a barn...can someone rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?

When our work is all done, and the sun is settin' low, we head off to school and still walkin' through the snow, we're expecting a baby girl as some of you know...could someone please rub my feet?

Well The Brenton and I are havin' lots of fun... prepping for our baby and hoping for some sun, we can't wait because Junes when I'm done.....can someone please rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?

The Brenton could trade his wife for golfin' or tools,
But he's stickin' by my side, I feel bad for the fool.
We're dreaming about the time we can lay by the pool!
Could someone please rub my feet?

Well being hormonal I can get kinda mean
He takes it like a Champ when I yell BRENTON DEAN
Living-ston you gotta keep this place CLEAN!
Could someone please rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?



AND STOP THE MUSIC!!!
(sorry going to bed, can't think of anymore rhymes!)

I'm a little confused and freightened

Doing my daily Internet-ing and I see this on the side of my screen.....

Can anyone explain what that is? Is it a hoof? Claw?? Raptor like

thing-y???

Math Problem

PLUS

PLUS

PLUS

x 8 (DURING WORK)

PLUS

Small Bathroom Stalls

EQUALS

eventually tucking my skirt into something it shouldn't be tucked into! Thank you strange lady in the bathroom who couldn't speak English, but still was able to tell me my skirt needs to be fixed....Bless your Heart!

There is Sunshine in My Soul Today

For all of you who thank your lucky stars that you don't live in Utah, here is what you missed out on this Sunday Morning.
So HA!
We had SunBeams! BEAMS! I was just missing the background MoTab Choir going "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (in harmony of course)

Modern Medicine

Did the ol' Glucose/Checking for Diabetes 'Cause I'm pregnant test....

What Happens During the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test?
(WebMD Answer):

The oral glucose tolerance test involves quickly drinking a sweetened liquid (called Glucola)...A blood sample will be taken from a vein in your arm about 60 minutes after drinking the solution. The blood test measures how the glucose solution was metabolized (processed by the body).

Okay so this Glucola....umm it's Orange Crush Soda...they just poured it in a bottle and put some Latin medical term and made it look like it was medically important so they could charge $80 for it.
They tell you to drink it within 5 min, so I think I did it in 2...Why you ask? Because I was thirsty... it was cold, it was carbonated, it was refreshing....I offered some to The Brenton, but he didn't think it was a good idea.

I impressed the girl in the waiting room that I downed it so fast.....I told her it was because of my old drinking days

(Mom and Mama Jeana....it was a joke, there are no drinking days, no matter what any crazy says! )

So 60 min later I am jabbed with a needle to draw blood...Twice!! I got the, "Oh your vein moved" explanation... I think she was a liar, but she was nice so we are friends!

The End

Lord Almighty, I feel my Temperature Risin!

So when they said, "You have a bun in your oven"

I took that as my womb would be a safe place while little thing cooks....not that I was LITERALLY going to be an

The Brenton (sorry mom, haven't found a name that I liked yet for him) is the heater in our relationship, it's perfect for cold winter nights....

But me, I could sleep with a down comforter year round, you just climate adjust, stick your leg out to balance out the temp right?

Well not anymore, I think we are the only apt in our complex that had our A/C running during the winter!

Today I have made a breakthrough at the office....see the problem is at 3pm it just gets too hot, and someone shut the vent off above my desk, sooooo I melt from 3-5pm every day. Well yesterday while looking for a heater for my co-worker (she works in the cold area of our office, we are a very fickle people) I found

THIS!!! HAZAHHHH!!

Sadly it took me until 4:45 today to remember that I found the fan yesterday!

It's a St. Patrick's Day Miracle

If you were here but two weeks ago, you would have read about the mysterious Martha Stewart Living Magazines that were showing up to my house unannounced.

Today we received a THIRD one, and so I decided to make a little call to Martha's people.

And they told me that I get a full years subscription for FREE!!! HOORAY!!

You too can get a years worth of free magazines, all you need to do is get your husband (or yourself) to buy a Martha Stewart bouquet of flowers (they were my valentines gift, I got a good man!) from 1-800 flowers (plug) and the magazines come free! (or in the price of the very beautiful flowers!)

Thanks Martha........and Thanks Honey for remembering years ago when I said, "I would like flowers for either my b-day or Valentines Day"
Like my high school leadership teacher would say, you don't G-E-T if you don't A-S-K


P.S. apparently Brenton doesn't read completely what he is purchasing, so if any of you are selling something, maybe for your kids, just go ahead and throw extra stuff in there, he wouldn't know!

Happy St. Paddy's Day To Ya

Happy Day to you!!!

How will you celebrate it today???

A Little Corned Beef and Cabbage????



A Little Irish Movie??? Sean Connery as a wee Lad! YES!





Playin' your Favorite Cranberries song? YEs they're Irish, remember?







Will you be here? It's Chicago, they do this every St. Patrick's Day!












Or the Ol' Irish Way???






This makes me smile!

I will be wishing my sister Morgan a HAPPY B-DAY!!!

My gift to you, is not posting how old you are!!!

I hope it skips a generation!

Teenagers of the World...or South Jordan, Utah:

You bother me! Yes it's true, the majority of you bother me...when I am out with my husband on a lovely date, why do I have to hear you screaming something obnoxious in the parking lot over and Over and OVER again?? We get it...you are funny!

Why when I am shopping at Target, are there a MILLION of you crammed in one little isle, making the management nervous as to what you are doing over there...and Why out of that MILLION is there only one GIRL! Seriously, Chica Hello????

Oh and why when you, Chica, are with these millions of boys, you choose the scronny-est of them all to be all "cuddley" with and snuggle walk down the isle?? (You all know what I am talking about, the Prom Pose while walking) What happened to holding hands walking side by side??? BE NORMAL!!!!

And Why oh WHY are you guys parked in the Target Parking lot just "hanging out" right in front of my car?

P.S. Girl in the car with two other boys....IF you are going to be tough and lip something off to me because I starred at you (which I did only to make you nervous, it's a fun game I play with strangers), then TRY oh TRY to pronunicate your WORDS so that I can at least read them?? I only figured you were saying something tough because you had your ghetto attitude head shake. Which I must say was VERY good! I was afraid of you...seriously keep up the good work!

The one very up side to you all, is the constant enjoyment that the husband and I have at your expense, so Thank yoU!

Sincerely,

Jazmine's Hormones

Problem Solved

Scene: Jazmine in the bathroom (for the 20th time that day) notices something on the back of the door. This is what she sees

Jazmine Thinks to herself: What could that be????



















Taking a closer look

MYSTERY SOLVED!!!!

Jazmine: Honey, did you kill a spider against the bathroom door?

Brentonie: Oh ya, I thought I got it

Jazmine: So we are leaving it up there as an example to all the other spiders in this apt??

BRENTONIE: uH-HUH

And we have not seen a spider since!

Where did we go wrong????

Parts of the Article that were cut out of this pic:

• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they
  are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimze the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  
• Be happy to see him
  
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of converstation are more important than yours.
  
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand this world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  
• Don't complain if he's late home for diner or even is he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  
• Don't ask him quetions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  
• A good wife always knows her place.

Mystery Martha

Dear Martha Stewart:

I wanted to let you know that I marvel at your creativeness, I love your Christmas wreaths made out of pine cones and gold spray paint. One day I plan on making the pumpkin snake that you had in your Halloween Holiday special 2 seasons ago. I am sorry that I did not purchase your magazine this last Holiday season, it's not like me I know, but my mind was still trying to wrap it's way around the fact that I was pregnant....do you have a magazine edition on that????

Today though, The Brenton and I got a lovely surprise in our mailbox when we received not one but TWO of your magazines. We received the Gardening Solutions and the Springs Brightest Ideas edition. I am excited to look through them, however I fear to. For neither The Brenton nor I ordered these. Did you send me these? Or will I soon receive a bill for $80?? I do love your magazines, but I do not like surprise bills. Maybe if I am really good, The Brenton will let me keep them, or maybe one!

Yours Truly,

Jazmine Livingston

iTunes song of the morning

Kate Earl:She is in my "mellow" or "deep thought" music category while driving....me like-y...Thanks WaMu Megan for bringing her to our home!

Don't watch the video, just turn it up and have it play in the background

S-U-G-A-R

Some may say that I am a stubborn person....(stop laughing mom!) It's true, if you tell me NOT to do something, of course I am going to do it, (except drugs... and a few others)

I read all the books about being pregnant and they go on and on and on about nutrition and being healthy for your baby's sake....

Things like:

• Don't eat tuna more than once a week
• Don't have too much caffeine......I have opt-ed for a caffeine free pregnancy, with the help of Brenton saying "You can't have caffeine....don't hurt my baby!") *and side note, yes I know that you can have caffeine while pregnant, you just have to monitor it, BUT they say the baby has a hard time metabolizing it...so we just say no.
• Don't Smoke while pregnant
• Don't Drink
• Don't eat cold deli meat (I have missed that one)
• Don't eat raw hot dogs...sad they had to actually tell people that
• Don't eat soft, non pasturized cheeses
• No sushi (except if it's tempura-ed)
• No pills other than Tylenol

All this I have obeyed to make sure that Diva can be as healthy as possible

BUT lately I read that in the 3rd Trimester, "You should really lower your carb/sugar intake." Something about retaining water with all the salty crackers/chips and everything that is good and holy...and the Sugars, I guess too much sugar is bad, and I should eat a veggie or something!

I am sorry Peanut, but I just can't seem to get myself off the box or Bag...they told me NO.... But to use my own power against me, I have challenged myself to a

NO SUGAR THURSDAY.......

Wish me luck...I love candy oh and Brownies!

She wears short shorts!

Okay so ladies in Utah, may I please remind you that it is still March a.k.a. WINTER in UTah, we are lucky if it gets over 55 degrees for a few hours, and yet some of you are bringing out the summer gear already...

No No No.....

When the Mountains look like this:

Then I don't think we should be seeing this just yet...

Had girl in my night class sport this (but with a shirt) and all I could think of was

WHY???!!!

I am afraid of what she will pull out when it is an acutal hot day...Sheesh

(P.S. her legs resembeled the snow on the mountains! )

No Shame

Did anyone else have a bit of this going on today????

It's a windy day here in Salt Lake

Pretty sure I gave a good show walking out to get the mail today...Yowza!!!

LIAR!!!!

I trusted you, I wore open toed SHOES for cryin' out loud, and you let me down!!! Lets just see if I tune in tomorrow morning!