It's time the truth comes out

I let Lena watch morning cartoons...and on some days it's well past noon before I feel like turning it off because I needed her to be quiet

I have let Lena eat candy during breakfast because 1. I wanted it out of the house faster and 2. she is so tiny that she could use some extra pounds for the winter.

I have put Lena to bed and then after her screaming for a bit I realized she didn't have anything to eat for dinner (one of my proudest moments)

In the middle of "disagreements" with The Brenton I think of snappy things to say and sometimes I say it out loud even before I finish my thought knowing it was mean and unnecessary.

I have gone to bed angry

I have cried myself to sleep

I have cried in the shower so the noise of the water would block the sound

Sometimes I look up at the airplanes flying overhead and wish I was on it flying to my family back out west

I can't take very good pictures, I don't have an eye for anything

I use all purpose flour and cook white rice because I rather it taste better then be healthier.

The only pictures I think I look good in are my wedding pictures, everything else I can and do find a flaw

I am not a creative person, most of my inspiration comes from the internet

I have to stop myself from eating my feelings on an hourly basis

I am my worst enemy

I read other blogs and sometimes feel guilty that I don't have or do what they have or do

But that is no more...

I realized that everyone has problems...EVERYONE. Even those bloggers who have thought of every craft, made every delicious baked good, and done everything that looks to be super awesome...and the more I open up about it the more I find people like me, people who are just trying to do the best they can with the hand they have been dealt.

I am grateful for my problems because according to the things I see on the news...my problems are teenie tiny on the scale of how bad things can get....nano problems if you will.

I have

this

and

this.

I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have faith that with every trial I am being shaped and formed to be something greater than I could ever try to be.

I am Lena's mom and Brenton's wife I am a one of a kind

There is no mold for me to try to fit into.

A Mother's love

A mother sees that the energy level in the house is a little too high....so a mother's love takes the energy level on an hour long walk on the trail (the one with the big hill) and "forgets" the stroller so the energy must walk on her own.

A mother hears silence...so a mother's love quickly goes looking for an open basement door and a small shoeless/jacketless child who is playing in the 50 degree weather with the shovel that is used to remove the doggie poops.

A mother hears "Ok bye mama"and then the mother sees the door shut...so a mother's love understands immediately that the little one has found the ring on the side table and has plans to play with it elsewhere

A mother sees a potty training little one stop playing to get into a wide stance...so the mother's love goes to grab a rag and wipe up the urine that the little one just added to the floor

A mother is still sleeping when the little one wakes up...so the mother's love turns on whatever cartoon will keep her quiet for 30 more minutes...or more

A mother puts broccoli, spinach, asparagus and a tomato on the little one's plate....and a mother's love drenches it with ranch and promises whatever halloween treat that will get her to eat it.

A mother's love was tested this last week and luckily for the little one a mother's love continues to love