It's time the truth comes out

I let Lena watch morning cartoons...and on some days it's well past noon before I feel like turning it off because I needed her to be quiet

I have let Lena eat candy during breakfast because 1. I wanted it out of the house faster and 2. she is so tiny that she could use some extra pounds for the winter.

I have put Lena to bed and then after her screaming for a bit I realized she didn't have anything to eat for dinner (one of my proudest moments)

In the middle of "disagreements" with The Brenton I think of snappy things to say and sometimes I say it out loud even before I finish my thought knowing it was mean and unnecessary.

I have gone to bed angry

I have cried myself to sleep

I have cried in the shower so the noise of the water would block the sound

Sometimes I look up at the airplanes flying overhead and wish I was on it flying to my family back out west

I can't take very good pictures, I don't have an eye for anything

I use all purpose flour and cook white rice because I rather it taste better then be healthier.

The only pictures I think I look good in are my wedding pictures, everything else I can and do find a flaw

I am not a creative person, most of my inspiration comes from the internet

I have to stop myself from eating my feelings on an hourly basis

I am my worst enemy

I read other blogs and sometimes feel guilty that I don't have or do what they have or do

But that is no more...

I realized that everyone has problems...EVERYONE. Even those bloggers who have thought of every craft, made every delicious baked good, and done everything that looks to be super awesome...and the more I open up about it the more I find people like me, people who are just trying to do the best they can with the hand they have been dealt.

I am grateful for my problems because according to the things I see on the news...my problems are teenie tiny on the scale of how bad things can get....nano problems if you will.

I have

this

and

this.

I have the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have faith that with every trial I am being shaped and formed to be something greater than I could ever try to be.

I am Lena's mom and Brenton's wife I am a one of a kind

There is no mold for me to try to fit into.

A Mother's love

A mother sees that the energy level in the house is a little too high....so a mother's love takes the energy level on an hour long walk on the trail (the one with the big hill) and "forgets" the stroller so the energy must walk on her own.

A mother hears silence...so a mother's love quickly goes looking for an open basement door and a small shoeless/jacketless child who is playing in the 50 degree weather with the shovel that is used to remove the doggie poops.

A mother hears "Ok bye mama"and then the mother sees the door shut...so a mother's love understands immediately that the little one has found the ring on the side table and has plans to play with it elsewhere

A mother sees a potty training little one stop playing to get into a wide stance...so the mother's love goes to grab a rag and wipe up the urine that the little one just added to the floor

A mother is still sleeping when the little one wakes up...so the mother's love turns on whatever cartoon will keep her quiet for 30 more minutes...or more

A mother puts broccoli, spinach, asparagus and a tomato on the little one's plate....and a mother's love drenches it with ranch and promises whatever halloween treat that will get her to eat it.

A mother's love was tested this last week and luckily for the little one a mother's love continues to love

I dusted off the Ol' Computer

Hello my readers (mom & Mer)

I know you guys are dying to read what I have to say, and for once....I have lots to say!
I am a "Day Time Mom" FINALLY!!! Hooray, hazza, Whoop Whoop and a big Yee-Haw

In a nut shell: I quit my day job and started working nights (not even all nights, just 4 nights and a Saturday afternoon/evening).

I get to be with my Lena Bug all day every day from the minute she wakes up until she goes to bed (minus Saturdays). I get to be home when The Brenton walks through the door from school/work, heck we even have had LUNCH together!

Lena and I have been to almost every park in a 20 mile radius, sometimes twice a day. Lena (and mama) have friends to play with! We get to play and nap and play again. But you know what else I get to do now that I am home:

• The laundry
• Clean the house
• Walk the dog
• Exercise
• Cook dinner
• Fight with the 2 yr old if she is having a crabby day/hr/moment
• Fight the urge to just sit the 2 yr old in front of the t.v. all day because she is quiet then
  
• Organize all those things that I said I was going to but didn't 'cause I was too busy
  

Dang it!! All of these things I have had a wonderful excuse to not have to do...don't get me wrong occasionally I did these, at least once a week, but now....it's my turn!

So far in my happiness to be home I have:

• Had a clean kitchen sink for the majority of the day (first time in 5 yrs of marriage).
• Cleaned the carpets from the winter mud....just in time for the fall rain to start
  
• Sewed Peanut a dress (it's a spring/summer bright colored dress, but she will wear it all fall/winter, that's what sweaters and tights are for)
• Dusted off the Jillian Michaels workout dvd
• Changed out Lena's summer clothes to fall clothes, this time before fall is 1/2 way over
• Started potty training the 2 yr old Diva! This girl works for m&ms
• Planned out what I am going to be cooking a week in advance, and not once was it cereal

So there it is, one thing I have not been doing is taking pictures, which I know is the main reason why you all are here reading this...I think I can dig up a couple pics from the summer.

Mother's Day

The sign explains it

Oh Abe!

Yeah, she still hasn't really figured out which way they are supposed to go

My Lady's 2 yr birthday...Mickey brought to you by yours truly and The Brenton

The other pics of her birthday consisted of her with no pants, this is the best I could get...Mickey was MMmmmm good

Mama & Lena Love (plus proof that I got a tan this summer, heck yes!)

In case you are wondering, this is how she plans on
getting her man! I think it will work

It's not a summer in Maryland without Crabs dinnerLena didn't agree with the crab dinner, because they were still alive!
Okay she got a little more courageous Pretty in PInk

Proof that I can grow something...Snow peas, so good!

I had a great idea

So I had this great idea for a birthday present for Grandma Jeana. Oh it was going to be so cute, Lena was going to hold up signs and I take pictures of what the signs say as she was wishing Grandma a happy birthday...so fun right???

How did I forget that I was not only working with a 2 yr old but I was working with MY 2 yr old...
It started off not too bad, I mean we could still see the words and she was smiling but it wasn't it...so we tried again

Oh yes give a child paper and it's crumpled in 2 seconds...nice thought Jazz

So maybe I ended up taping it to her

Oh this was her rendition of Head Shoulders Knees and Toes...
but it's called Head Shoulders Knees and Nose

I'm so proud

I know what that face is saying...do you??

And then I realized it was nap time!!!

Here is the final cut....Happy Birthday Grandma Jeana!!

Lost Dog

For my local Maryland friends, this female yellow lab was brought to our clinic today. She doesn't have a collar and she is not microchipped!

(Yet another reason why you should have your dogs and cats microchipped!!)

She was found off Indian Hill Drive in Marriottsville. Call our office if you think you know her!

410-489-9410

or email:wfah@ comcast. net

(Yes I know you are thinking that this looks like my Chloe dog, and NO I am not trying to get rid of her, this girl is really a lost dog!)

It's Thursday

It's Thursday here at the Livingston home, which means dad is at school all day and I get to be a stay at home mom for 24 hours!! For those of you still new to us Livingstons, or maybe I just haven't shared it...us Livingstons are still going through school....Masters???? We get asked that a lot, and we smile and answer..."no, bachelors" We're on the 10 year program, but hey at least we're still doing it. I/We refuse to not finish. Even though it would make life easier NOW for Brenton to be working along with me (stupid recession), we know that in the long run, I need a retirement! I need vacations! I need my pool boy Pablo to bring me diet soda drinks while my leathery tanned skin is sitting poolside for the 8th hour in a row (quite the visual no?) Which means The Brenton needs a good job, which means he need a degree or 2. So while he is working on those degrees, I am the bread winner, not something I love but it's what we both agreed to when we moved out here...So we continue on. The good news is, we're just one month closer to the cap and gown, we have 1 school yr left, or in my countdown 14 months!!

So back to Thursdays, I love them, I love Tuesdays and Thursday because that means that I get to be home with my Lena Diva ALL DAY. Some days I am begging for the work day to come to relieve me from the stress an almost 2 year old brings...but lately they have been wonderful. The weather has been good to us, so we venture out, yes it's still 40 degrees but the ice is gone and it's dry (except for today) so we bundle and get our legs moving. I love watching how much she loves to run. She points out the birds that she sees flying, the cats that are being fed by the cat lady across the street and of course the BUGS. She is such a girl.

Tomorrow I will return to work, and I will think about my girl all day, sometimes I cry when I leave and sometimes I just try to get through the workday so I can come home to my wonderful family. Our family has been blessed by the Lord in so many ways, I mean how many kids get to have their dad home with them ALL DAY 3 days out of the week? The Brenton knows that this is a rare time, and he probably won't get to have this with the other kids that may come, so he is soaking it up. I love that. I love that we don't have to pay for daycare because I have a wonderful job that works with my schedule when changes need to be made to fit Brenton's school schedule. One of us is always here for her, and as I have said many times in this post...I love that!

I love so many things about Thursdays,but mostly because NBC has funny shows starting at 8pm, like Community and 30 Rock, Outsourced is great too.

Okay now enjoy the pics:

This is how we do Valentines Day, Crab Legs, Cheesy potatoes, Old Bay,and FLOWERS. He's so good to me!

She is either a kitchen-get-in-the-way-er....or helper...here I think she was helping

It's hard not to love them

The Brenton makes FANTASTIC homemade bread. Stupid recession with their $4 a loaf, he makes it every week and it's just so much better. This bucket is FULL of flour from Costco for $6, you do the math!

This picture represents so many things, 1. She opens doors on her own 2. She gets things out of the garbage and 3. She is just getting too BIG. Flashback to the broken leg, this is a picture just min before we took it off,

(please excuse robo-dog)

She got a hold of the camera,I must say all the fat in her body is probably stored in her feet! Whoowza

The Brenton's Ladies, he's got it good!

East coast stink....bugs

Do you see this jerk?

Well he is one of a bajillion million stinkbugs and they love it over here in Maryland. Rumor has it these buggers are Chinese origin and found there way here with some products that were imported in. They have NO known enemies and they are just taking over.

They are annoying and ate my mint I had planted last summer so we're not on speaking terms.

But this week I found value in these guys....My Lena is afraid of them!! Last year I would find her sticking them in her mouth...don't worry they were dead (yeah I puked a little when I saw her do it)And they are around all the time, but on Friday she had it....they scared her. She saw a bug on the stairs and would not move, even after I moved the bug she still sat there pointing saying "bug, bug, bug" So now I am thinking about when she is getting really clingy and I just need some space....I am going to hide behind a row of stink bugs so she'll leave me alone! I am even debating a stink bug t-shirt!

We almost did it

Livingston Good News Moment:

For the last few weeks Lena had finally stopped saying her precious F word. We changed it to Fork, it was perfect.

That is until I was at Costco with Lena yesterday and I started saying "Fake" well that was just not right, and out comes that awesome word she liked to say so much. My Bad. I think I am just waiting for her to say it when everyone is quiet at church.

They missed the Mark

So way back when,I went Christmas shopping, looking for a stocking stuffer for The Brenton. I found this great deal, it was a Nivea for Men gift set that included

1)Very Manly body wash
2) Very Manly shaving cream
3)Very Very manly aftershave lotion
(did I mention this was all for very manly sensitive skin? That was an oversight, The Brenton has regular tough manly skin)
and last but not least
4)very manly chapstick...and here lies my concern.

and mind you, I took like 4 marketing classes so I am a PRO at this stuff)

Now I can imagine it must be hard for the people who design and create these products to go from their main consumer group (oh yeah marketing terms..that's right!) of women and channeling it towards men. And I can see how they tried, I mean they made sure to make the chapstick "Non-shine" so it would appeal to men...BUT they really missed the mark on this because

they designed a chapstick for the man to use EXACTLY like a tube of lipstick! The Brenton likes the product but vows to never use this thing outside the house because it will look like he is applying makeup.So close but yet so off!

I'm ALIVE!!

Holy cow where did my blogging go? I will do my best to catch you all up and get on a better blogging schedule (pronounce shed-ual).

October-The Brenton and I worked and went to school and parented...I worked,he schooled and we both parented. Adalena enjoyed her first real good Halloween and the meaning of way too much candy.

Nov-November, was pretty much like October, only difference was we really got into some good eating. Though family was not close by we still enjoyed our Thanksgiving. It was full of smoke alarms, burned arms and a delicious meal, and isn't that something to be thankful for!

Dec-wow!! What an amazing month, I don't remember much of it since it went by way too fast, but I must say that we were a very blessed family! We had work, we had our health and we had each other, so what more could we ask for? Oh yeah, a little girl with her first Tu-Tu, thanks Aunt Jamie!

Jan-The new year, so far it started with this pretty little picture

Spiral fracture of her right tibia! Sheesh! technically this happened in 2010, but the cast joined the family just yesterday. She is a trooper and has come to terms with the cast. It will only be on for 2 weeks, which gives her plenty of time to master her pirate walk. She pretty much walks like she has a peg leg. Tomorrow I am working on teaching her how to say "ArRRRR" with one eye closed. How did she do this you ask??

Well I will tell you, the girl is a climber! She was climbing on the coffee table and fell off, we x-ray-ed it that night with no sign of a fracture. But 2 weeks worth of limping, and 3-4 other trips and falls (which made my baby cry so hard) and I was ready to get it x-ray-ed again. This time we could see her leg healing from what I was told, by Dr. What's Her Face at John's Hopkins... a spiral fracture.

So there you have it 2011 startin' off with a bang. I am so excited for 2011 because 2010 kicked my trash. I enjoy trials/hard times only for the part that it makes me appreciate when there are no trials, so this year I am working on less trials, more enjoying. My New Year's resolution is to learn how to cook French food and to figure out how to get my 19 month to stop saying the F word. Yup you read that right, the one word that is NEVER NEVER used in this house, or by either of her parents and she has said it enough to fill a whole HBO show! I have my work cut out for me!

Happy New Year to you Blogging world, may all your wildest dreams come true!