Thursday, July 3, 2008

Sorry Crystal!

Okay so here is a very long and complexed story, BUT if you stick with it, you won't be sorry!

Background:
I have a gigantic scar on my left bicep, it's HUGE. I received this lovely scar by riding bikes at my friends house in lovely Penryn, CA when I was a wee girl. My friend and I were riding the bikes, and her brother was chasing us on a riding lawnmower (may I remind you we are country folk..this is just what you do when you're not old enough to drive). Okay so I am on my friend's bike. I start going down the hill, when I realize...I Don't know where the brakes are!!" I thought they were on the handles, but they were on the peddles....or is it the other way around??? I don't remember..all I remember was that the brakes were not where I thought they were. So the outcome of that was me stuck to some lovely old barbwire fence! I know...that stuff is everywhere in Penryn....so I do a inventory of my body making sure all is in tact when I find this huge gash on my left arm...which resulted in 12 stitches and a Tetanus shot!

Fast forward about 18 years:
So yesterday I am walking out of my office getting ready to go pick up the man from work. I see a few co-workers out testing a new scooter, as one of them bought her very own brand new scooter. It was so cute, white and just so precious. So I am standing there admiring the bike, as it is being ridden up and down the isle of the parking lot. They ask me if I want to try it, I declined. I had a huge water bottle that I was chugging all day, and I had to use the little girls room. I feared just the mere excitement of riding that zippy scooter would cause an accident. Again, I was asked, and I am not sure if at that time I declined or accepted, but the next thing I remember was that my friend was taking my things out of my hand and I was sitting on the bike.


I was shown how to make the scooter go...and I was OFF...LITERALLY Off, I was so surprised for whatever reason and I totally froze! I had no idea where the brakes where (again) I couldn't stop this thing...and I BARRELED into a pile of bushes....oh yes I am thinking, " oh great I am up on a curb with bushes I am going to stop" NO I plow through these bushes and really the only thing I remember was falling to the ground. Now the three in the parking lot are laughing...I even think one was on the ground laughing...or maybe it was just me on the ground. So they run over. I am fine and we pick up the bike and it looks fine. I was so embarrassed and horrified that I totally 4 wheeled my friends brand new scooter. There was the question, "have you ever been on these before" and my response was "NO, but you would think that I would have been smart enough to drive one of these bad boys!" Then we hear the air starting to come out of the back tire!


Oh yes, the tire was taken off the rim and became utterly and totally completely flat!!! The look on my friends face, well it was total shock! I just apologized over and over and she was just as positive as could be. She kept asking me if I was okay...and physically yes I was fine, nothing was cut, bruised or broken...that is except my ego!


After a bit I get in the car and drive off...leaving the mess I had made in the parking lot. I called my husband, who the very day before was talking to me about buying such a scooter. So I tell him what happens, and he says of course, "Are you okay?" followed then by, "So what do you think about the scooter?" I told him I had about 3 seconds of driving it, and it ended very badly, So, I don't have good things to say about them! I am pretty sure that night all I heard from him was, "Don't worry honey, when we get ours, I'll make sure you know how to drive it before you get on!" So helpful that husband of mine is! Oh I also heard...."honey if we need to we can buy her a new bike, and then repair this one! So we can have a scooter too!" Again, so wonderful and positive!


So today is the day after, I am set to go fix my horrible mess, but my darling of a friend is already on it, and it's in the shop hopefully getting fixed! So she has already blogged about this wonderful moment in life, so when I get her blog, I'll link it so you can read her version!!


Lesson Learned:
So the scar on my arm really has meaning now to me, it is a constant reminder to ask, "Hey where are the brakes" 2nd Lesson Learned: Scooters are not for Jazmine, cars and quads are..but scooters...nahh Sorry Crystal!

6 comments:

Trent & Emily Davies said...

Okay thats seriously hilarious!! Why did no one catch this on video? We could have had it up on YouTube today with a million hits!!

Tyler Heaps said...

So I can proudly say I was one of the witnesses! I was laughing SOOOO hard! She plowed through those bushes like a pro! I especially loved the oval shaped tire rim from smacking the curb so hard!! Good times! (But I'm glad you're okay - physically, at least)

Sean and Janet Eyring said...

If only I was looking out the window at that moment...I probably would have peed myself. But I want you to tell me the story again in person, so I can hear the sound effects you do to go along with the story, and the hand gestures and everything!!!

Mrs. Two Cents said...

Sorry to laugh at your pain and humiliation...but this story made my day! I laughed so hard.

Carmen Joyner said...

Jazmine Leigh Joyner Livingston...!!!
You could've been killed or worse, you'd want to buy one of those contraptions for yourself. I could totally hear Brenton's calm voice solving the scooter situation. Thank goodness for the bushes

Jazz Joyner Livingston said...

(If you read the comment above from Carmen..well that is my mom and you witnessed a mother's lashing from hundreds of miles away!)

I swear I don't want to buy any of those for myself...it' BRENTON that does. He is still all about it, and worse my big brother Jared is all about them too. I told Brenton he could get one if he and Jared had matching outfits and a little side seat for me...like those motorcycle things! Heck yes!