A Little Diddy-with New Verses!

I realize that I haven't really given a good detailed update about the life situation of The Brenton and I...and so I figured that I should get on one...and to make it even more entertaining I will write it to that all time Jon Denver hit "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" (mind you may have to read it over a few times for it really to work right....)

Well Life in Sandy is kind of laid back, ain't nothin' a Cali girl like I can't hack, early to rise 10:30 in the sack, could some-one please rub my feet??

Well my office smells like it's in the middle of a farm, had a propane scare but it didn't cause no harm, can barely see my feet, I'm the size of a barn...can someone rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?

When our work is all done, and the sun is settin' low, we head off to school and still walkin' through the snow, we're expecting a baby girl as some of you know...could someone please rub my feet?

Well The Brenton and I are havin' lots of fun... prepping for our baby and hoping for some sun, we can't wait because Junes when I'm done.....can someone please rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?

The Brenton could trade his wife for golfin' or tools,
But he's stickin' by my side, I feel bad for the fool.
We're dreaming about the time we can lay by the pool!
Could someone please rub my feet?

Well being hormonal I can get kinda mean
He takes it like a Champ when I yell BRENTON DEAN
Living-ston you gotta keep this place CLEAN!
Could someone please rub my feet?

Well I got me a fine life, I got me a hubby, he goes to school and I'm gettin' kinda chubby. I'm also going crazy but we're still in love-ieeee....could someone please rub my feet?



AND STOP THE MUSIC!!!
(sorry going to bed, can't think of anymore rhymes!)

I'm a little confused and freightened

Doing my daily Internet-ing and I see this on the side of my screen.....

Can anyone explain what that is? Is it a hoof? Claw?? Raptor like

thing-y???

Math Problem

PLUS

PLUS

PLUS

x 8 (DURING WORK)

PLUS

Small Bathroom Stalls

EQUALS

eventually tucking my skirt into something it shouldn't be tucked into! Thank you strange lady in the bathroom who couldn't speak English, but still was able to tell me my skirt needs to be fixed....Bless your Heart!

There is Sunshine in My Soul Today

For all of you who thank your lucky stars that you don't live in Utah, here is what you missed out on this Sunday Morning.
So HA!
We had SunBeams! BEAMS! I was just missing the background MoTab Choir going "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (in harmony of course)

Modern Medicine

Did the ol' Glucose/Checking for Diabetes 'Cause I'm pregnant test....

What Happens During the Oral Glucose Tolerance Test?
(WebMD Answer):

The oral glucose tolerance test involves quickly drinking a sweetened liquid (called Glucola)...A blood sample will be taken from a vein in your arm about 60 minutes after drinking the solution. The blood test measures how the glucose solution was metabolized (processed by the body).

Okay so this Glucola....umm it's Orange Crush Soda...they just poured it in a bottle and put some Latin medical term and made it look like it was medically important so they could charge $80 for it.
They tell you to drink it within 5 min, so I think I did it in 2...Why you ask? Because I was thirsty... it was cold, it was carbonated, it was refreshing....I offered some to The Brenton, but he didn't think it was a good idea.

I impressed the girl in the waiting room that I downed it so fast.....I told her it was because of my old drinking days

(Mom and Mama Jeana....it was a joke, there are no drinking days, no matter what any crazy says! )

So 60 min later I am jabbed with a needle to draw blood...Twice!! I got the, "Oh your vein moved" explanation... I think she was a liar, but she was nice so we are friends!

The End

Lord Almighty, I feel my Temperature Risin!

So when they said, "You have a bun in your oven"

I took that as my womb would be a safe place while little thing cooks....not that I was LITERALLY going to be an

The Brenton (sorry mom, haven't found a name that I liked yet for him) is the heater in our relationship, it's perfect for cold winter nights....

But me, I could sleep with a down comforter year round, you just climate adjust, stick your leg out to balance out the temp right?

Well not anymore, I think we are the only apt in our complex that had our A/C running during the winter!

Today I have made a breakthrough at the office....see the problem is at 3pm it just gets too hot, and someone shut the vent off above my desk, sooooo I melt from 3-5pm every day. Well yesterday while looking for a heater for my co-worker (she works in the cold area of our office, we are a very fickle people) I found

THIS!!! HAZAHHHH!!

Sadly it took me until 4:45 today to remember that I found the fan yesterday!

It's a St. Patrick's Day Miracle

If you were here but two weeks ago, you would have read about the mysterious Martha Stewart Living Magazines that were showing up to my house unannounced.

Today we received a THIRD one, and so I decided to make a little call to Martha's people.

And they told me that I get a full years subscription for FREE!!! HOORAY!!

You too can get a years worth of free magazines, all you need to do is get your husband (or yourself) to buy a Martha Stewart bouquet of flowers (they were my valentines gift, I got a good man!) from 1-800 flowers (plug) and the magazines come free! (or in the price of the very beautiful flowers!)

Thanks Martha........and Thanks Honey for remembering years ago when I said, "I would like flowers for either my b-day or Valentines Day"
Like my high school leadership teacher would say, you don't G-E-T if you don't A-S-K


P.S. apparently Brenton doesn't read completely what he is purchasing, so if any of you are selling something, maybe for your kids, just go ahead and throw extra stuff in there, he wouldn't know!

Happy St. Paddy's Day To Ya

Happy Day to you!!!

How will you celebrate it today???

A Little Corned Beef and Cabbage????



A Little Irish Movie??? Sean Connery as a wee Lad! YES!





Playin' your Favorite Cranberries song? YEs they're Irish, remember?







Will you be here? It's Chicago, they do this every St. Patrick's Day!












Or the Ol' Irish Way???






This makes me smile!

I will be wishing my sister Morgan a HAPPY B-DAY!!!

My gift to you, is not posting how old you are!!!

I hope it skips a generation!

Teenagers of the World...or South Jordan, Utah:

You bother me! Yes it's true, the majority of you bother me...when I am out with my husband on a lovely date, why do I have to hear you screaming something obnoxious in the parking lot over and Over and OVER again?? We get it...you are funny!

Why when I am shopping at Target, are there a MILLION of you crammed in one little isle, making the management nervous as to what you are doing over there...and Why out of that MILLION is there only one GIRL! Seriously, Chica Hello????

Oh and why when you, Chica, are with these millions of boys, you choose the scronny-est of them all to be all "cuddley" with and snuggle walk down the isle?? (You all know what I am talking about, the Prom Pose while walking) What happened to holding hands walking side by side??? BE NORMAL!!!!

And Why oh WHY are you guys parked in the Target Parking lot just "hanging out" right in front of my car?

P.S. Girl in the car with two other boys....IF you are going to be tough and lip something off to me because I starred at you (which I did only to make you nervous, it's a fun game I play with strangers), then TRY oh TRY to pronunicate your WORDS so that I can at least read them?? I only figured you were saying something tough because you had your ghetto attitude head shake. Which I must say was VERY good! I was afraid of you...seriously keep up the good work!

The one very up side to you all, is the constant enjoyment that the husband and I have at your expense, so Thank yoU!

Sincerely,

Jazmine's Hormones

Problem Solved

Scene: Jazmine in the bathroom (for the 20th time that day) notices something on the back of the door. This is what she sees

Jazmine Thinks to herself: What could that be????



















Taking a closer look

MYSTERY SOLVED!!!!

Jazmine: Honey, did you kill a spider against the bathroom door?

Brentonie: Oh ya, I thought I got it

Jazmine: So we are leaving it up there as an example to all the other spiders in this apt??

BRENTONIE: uH-HUH

And we have not seen a spider since!

Where did we go wrong????

Parts of the Article that were cut out of this pic:

• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they
  are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimze the noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  
• Be happy to see him
  
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of converstation are more important than yours.
  
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand this world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  
• Don't complain if he's late home for diner or even is he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  
• Don't ask him quetions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  
• A good wife always knows her place.

Mystery Martha

Dear Martha Stewart:

I wanted to let you know that I marvel at your creativeness, I love your Christmas wreaths made out of pine cones and gold spray paint. One day I plan on making the pumpkin snake that you had in your Halloween Holiday special 2 seasons ago. I am sorry that I did not purchase your magazine this last Holiday season, it's not like me I know, but my mind was still trying to wrap it's way around the fact that I was pregnant....do you have a magazine edition on that????

Today though, The Brenton and I got a lovely surprise in our mailbox when we received not one but TWO of your magazines. We received the Gardening Solutions and the Springs Brightest Ideas edition. I am excited to look through them, however I fear to. For neither The Brenton nor I ordered these. Did you send me these? Or will I soon receive a bill for $80?? I do love your magazines, but I do not like surprise bills. Maybe if I am really good, The Brenton will let me keep them, or maybe one!

Yours Truly,

Jazmine Livingston

iTunes song of the morning

Kate Earl:She is in my "mellow" or "deep thought" music category while driving....me like-y...Thanks WaMu Megan for bringing her to our home!

Don't watch the video, just turn it up and have it play in the background

S-U-G-A-R

Some may say that I am a stubborn person....(stop laughing mom!) It's true, if you tell me NOT to do something, of course I am going to do it, (except drugs... and a few others)

I read all the books about being pregnant and they go on and on and on about nutrition and being healthy for your baby's sake....

Things like:

• Don't eat tuna more than once a week
• Don't have too much caffeine......I have opt-ed for a caffeine free pregnancy, with the help of Brenton saying "You can't have caffeine....don't hurt my baby!") *and side note, yes I know that you can have caffeine while pregnant, you just have to monitor it, BUT they say the baby has a hard time metabolizing it...so we just say no.
• Don't Smoke while pregnant
• Don't Drink
• Don't eat cold deli meat (I have missed that one)
• Don't eat raw hot dogs...sad they had to actually tell people that
• Don't eat soft, non pasturized cheeses
• No sushi (except if it's tempura-ed)
• No pills other than Tylenol

All this I have obeyed to make sure that Diva can be as healthy as possible

BUT lately I read that in the 3rd Trimester, "You should really lower your carb/sugar intake." Something about retaining water with all the salty crackers/chips and everything that is good and holy...and the Sugars, I guess too much sugar is bad, and I should eat a veggie or something!

I am sorry Peanut, but I just can't seem to get myself off the box or Bag...they told me NO.... But to use my own power against me, I have challenged myself to a

NO SUGAR THURSDAY.......

Wish me luck...I love candy oh and Brownies!

She wears short shorts!

Okay so ladies in Utah, may I please remind you that it is still March a.k.a. WINTER in UTah, we are lucky if it gets over 55 degrees for a few hours, and yet some of you are bringing out the summer gear already...

No No No.....

When the Mountains look like this:

Then I don't think we should be seeing this just yet...

Had girl in my night class sport this (but with a shirt) and all I could think of was

WHY???!!!

I am afraid of what she will pull out when it is an acutal hot day...Sheesh

(P.S. her legs resembeled the snow on the mountains! )

No Shame

Did anyone else have a bit of this going on today????

It's a windy day here in Salt Lake

Pretty sure I gave a good show walking out to get the mail today...Yowza!!!

LIAR!!!!

I trusted you, I wore open toed SHOES for cryin' out loud, and you let me down!!! Lets just see if I tune in tomorrow morning!